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benevolentgh0st:

a couple weeks ago this guy posted in the chicago pagan facebook group saying that he’s a djinn and that there’s a portal between here and egypt and only he and one other person had the power to close it and there was going to be a massive sandstorm… like dude, close the fucking portal, why are you even telling us this

Posted 9 hours ago With 79,857 notes

bhootpret:

The generation gap between me and ppl of my own age

Posted 9 hours ago With 101,074 notes

omegaverse:

moonmangarrett:

omegaverse:

Every january goth couples are fucking hard to try and have a halloween baby they’re gonna name ophelia or some shit

I’m a Halloween baby but my parents are normal so I’m Garrett

Hi garrett

Posted 9 hours ago With 47,306 notes

bulletsgirl:

lowresolutioncryptid:

bulletsgirl:

if tumblr ever starts forcing us to censor kill and die and murder and fuck and cunt and fag i’m deleting my account and starting an email chain with the mutuals

Wait I just thought about it and it might be cute to bring back wholesome church camp swear-swaps like frick,heck, jeez, mothertrucker. Sometimes the way ppl post we might need a lil. Swear jar,,

absolutely fucking not.

Posted 9 hours ago With 57,310 notes

phlebasthebroenician:

image

My favorite rejected New Yorker submission

Posted 9 hours ago With 19,113 notes

grox:

grox:

grox:

I really wanna go to a rave but i’m scared because I jusg so happen to have the cop body type. And i only wear black steel toes twnnis shoes becau,e i’m scared of getting my wittle feet hurt… and i really wanna smoke weed there or do some dmt or someting but i’m autistic so i don’t know the right social cues to ask for drugs so i always just ask people on the atreet if they havw drugs and they never say yes theg always leave me so im scared if I do that at the rave people will leave me… and i keep a walkie talkie in my pocket so i can always call my mommy when i’m scared…… so yeah

Not to mention the handcuffs I discreetly keep in my back pocket in case I neeed to be handcuffed to something

& I’m always shaving my head cuz i got lice

Posted 9 hours ago With 19,879 notes

greelin:

how the hell do people work full time AND work out. and also eat. i feel like a dvd player

Posted 9 hours ago With 72,520 notes